Peace and love all! I hope this post finds you at peace within and without, feeling the great energy of the season all about. I posted a video on my spiritual practices on YouTube yesterday. In the video, I spoke briefly about the things that I do in order to be balanced and unburdened in my life such as meditation, affirmations, giving daily offerings etc. Today is a day that I am grateful for those practices and here’s why.
My mother is 58 years old and is suffering in her physical and mental body. She has a slew of diagnosis , the most prominent is early-onset dementia. Over the years, I have watched my mother suffer from bipolar disorder, diabetes, substance abuse, and so and so forth but this time it is different. Over the past two years, I have watched her deteriorate–to go from being totally independent and living alone in her home, to being in an assisted living facility, monitored each day and having her independence stripped for her own safety.
Quiet as kept, the facility has been good for her. Once she adjusted, she gained weight, made friends, and was functioning well. But big changes happened with her last hospitalization. She is very confused, she is not eating as she had, she is not able to follow instructions, etc. Today, she attempted to take her life. She has attempted suicide many times in the past but this time is different in the fact that I believe she truly does not want to live any longer. Her quality of life is not what it was and when I look into her eyes , I see her misery and feel her pain. Her pain is as tangible as the keys I feel as I type this.
These revelations I make are not for pity or to say I have given up. I honestly am making strides to take care of my mother in the very near future but , let’s be clear. I do not want her to suffer or to feel as if she has to remain in the physical for me. My mother raised me to be strong, to be resilient, and to most of all, be real. 58 years old is young in regards to life expectancy but when you have lived a life full of strife, hardships, trials, and tribulations, the spirit does grow weary.
I hope my words help someone that is going through a similar situation. Do the very best that you can in the way that you can. Love , love, love. And always be gentle with yourself. Life is cyclical and things have a way of coming full circle. My mother knows me better than anyone else. She was the first human I connected with, she is my creator. I want her to know that I am fine. I just want her to be……….
Peace, Love, and Light,
Andre’a The Tru Lioness