2021- A Year for Intentionality

Peace beloveds and happy new year! I have not been in a space to write, nor the vibe but I am feeling my way through my days now and so here I am.

The word “intentionality” has become a focus word for me this year (and honestly began before the calendar year 2020 came to an end). I have found myself being in a space where I simply cannot do as I used to do. Spiritual messages have come in like a wave and some days I am simply exhausted and unable to do–being forced to just be.

So, here we are halfway through the month of January and I am fighting to not feel guilty to spending so much time in reflection, declining calls, messages, interactions that are not serving me in this moment. I have dreams for my future and am finding that spirit is working with me and through me to facilitate growth and maturation in an entire different way than I could ever have imagined.

I don’t feel pushed to produce. I feel guided to allow. I am only pursuing activities, relationships, and other things from a position of being intentional. I find myself asking if I am doing something because it is what I have always done, is it because others expect this of me, or is this truly serving me, bringing me peace, joy, bliss, abundance?

I am being intentional about leaning into ease. I am seeking what feels good and aligned in this moment- nothing other than that. I must admit that it is not a particularly comfortable place to be in because we live in a society that pushes productivity. But, I am off the hamster wheel. I cannot go on in the manner in which I had for so many years.

As I reflect over the nearly 40 years of my life, I realize how often I had simply been living, touting being hard working as some badge of honor, yet all the while not honoring my divine self, and certainly not operating in my natural flow. So much has become easy with me simply being. I am enjoying it so far, though I have to check the masculine side of myself who says “get up and do!”.

As this planet continues to shift from operating from a highly masculine energy into a more feminine one, may we all find more ways of simply Be-ing. See y’all soon!

Peace,

Ashaki

Peace 2020

I cannot lie and say that this year went by quickly for me, because it certainly didn’t . It actually feels like more than a year has gone by since my end of year blog for 2019. But, I also realize that this year has given me much in relation to the person that is currently sitting at her workstation putting her thoughts onto virtual paper.

I want to share 5 important lessons that I learned this year. This list is definitely not an all-inclusive list for all I have learned in 2020, but they certainly are high on the totem pole.

  1. Goodbyes come quickly- So many people lost so many loved ones this year. I lost my mother, sister, and 3 other family members. Spend time talking to your folks, let them know that you love them, and cherish your time together because time is a commodity that cannot be replaced.
  2. Allow space for your feelings- I was confronted by a reoccurrence of PTSD in 2020. I was functioning but, not living. I was working myself ragged and thinking that I was ok until I was pulled on the side of a road, thoughts racing, unable to move. I had to allow myself to feel, acknowledge my feelings, and deal with them. I knew it was real when I broke down in her office.
  3. Stop doing things you don’t want to do and actually pursue your passions. I had to decide for myself to choose what I wanted to do and stop saying yes to everything I know I had no passion for. I found myself immersed in painting, divination, yoga, and meditation. Although I love Afrikan art and accessories, I stopped selling and promoting those products. I stopped joining Zoom calls and groups with promises of profit just because it was working for others. That ain’t my ministry and I am good with it.
  4. Set boundaries and keep them there! If I learned anything from my last relationship, it was for me to set healthy boundaries and maintain them. I can no longer allow myself to be caught up in unhealthy relationships, push myself to the limits, and not advocate for myself. I set the bar high because I know I deserve better than I have accepted. And I have gladly said goodbye to a few folks who refused to honor my boundaries.
  5. I am worthy of the best- For so many years, I have denied myself certain luxuries because I truly did not see how valuable I am. Well, I learned my value and although it is a continual process to keep myself from going back into accepting less than, I know that the best of life is my destiny and I want it! So, I have set a standard of only accepting that which is truly pleasing to me and nothing less. And subsequently I have been attracting better by doing so. So, I shall continue.

I hope that this new year brings you all more bliss, continued good health, abundance, joy, love, and peace. I will see you on the other side.

Peace,

Ashaki

The Beauty of Letting Go

Peace beloveds! As always, it is my hope that this message finds you well. I have been doing so much shadow work, diving deep, working on being a better, more authentic me.

Recently, I have discovered the power of letting go- whether it be a relationship, an idea, a project…in whatever form “it” comes. I have determined that if a project, person, mindset, or action is not leading me to bliss, joy, and the creation of the life that I want to lead most, then it is not worth my time, energy, or attention and I must release it.

Recently, I reconnected with an old friend, who like me had decided to make some hard decisions and walk away from a few things. Talk about confirmation!

So, no it is not often easy releasing. It can be heartbreaking, bring up feelings of remorse, make you feel as though you are a failure because things did not pan out the way that you planned. But, beloved! Think of how freeing it is to disengage and loosen attachment to what is not serving the greater purpose.

Once I released, I was able to see how the situations and connections had hindered me in so many ways and I made the decision to choose better for me. I have struggled with setting healthy boundaries in the past and am honestly still a work in progress. But, I have made huge strides as of late.

Releasing requires taking inventory, reviewing where we are, who we are and determining who and where we want to be. Remember, life is all about choices. Are you making your chooses from a place of wholeness or from a place of trauma and codependency?

It is my hope that make the decision to release all that is not serving any purpose in your life. Scorpio season highlights the energy of letting go. Take inventory, remove, and move forward. You got this!

Until we meet again,

Ashaki

Day 2 Revelations

Today is my 2nd day of a 21 reset challenge that I initiated for myself. Although I am still watching Youtube videos, I am not posting, engaging, or spending time of Facebook or Instagram.

I have already noticed how much time I spent on social media and how much of my life has been framed by it. For example, yesterday I painted a new piece. My first instinct once it neared completion (it still isn’t quite done yet), was to post it on social media. But, for what? I love how it is coming along but who’s approval am I seeking and for what reason? Have I become one of those people who constantly seeks outside validation for what I am doing?

Short answer- yes. I have become somewhat addicted to the likes, the responses, to the engagement, even if it is shallow. I am proud to be able to even acknowledge this at this point in my life. I am nearing 40 and still have so many dreams for my life.

This morning, my two youngest children shared with me that Chadwick Boseman had transitioned. He was 43….43. I remember seeing him a few months ago, looking very frail and thin and thinking that he did not look well. It didn’t take long before people on social media began to speak negatively about him. People can be so unkind.

His transition is yet another reminder to me for me to stop participating in things that are not serving any purpose and are not bringing me joy. I had been exploring the principle of living intentionally for the past few weeks and now I am seeing that the actions that I am taking right now are just that- determining to live each day pursuing my purpose, doing the things that bring me joy, challenging myself to truly live on my own terms. I am choosing new dreams as well. And I am so excited about it.

May we all choose to actually live and stop existing.

Peace,

Ashaki

Taking a Break

Today I made a decision. I am taking a break from social media and from my side business. I feel that my life has taken on a life of its own, one that I don’t even recognize. I feel as though I am constantly trying to keep up with my peers, attain some level, master some information.

I don’t even know when this began. I have made some beautiful connections over the past few years but, I honestly feel overlooked–a lot. So, I made the decision to step off. I need to regroup, restore what has been lost in the shuffle, and so I am reclaiming my time (thanks Auntie Maxine Waters for coining that phrase!).

I have even lost sight of what I truly want at my core. I know I want to be financially free, own some land and a home, at some point be in a loving and fulfilling relationship, travel, and be able to create as I see fit. Somewhere along the way, I lost my way. And I know that I should allow myself some grace. 2020 has been hell on nearly everyone. But, I want more than I currently have, I want to be better.

So, I posted my closed sign on my social media, I closed my calendar for my business, and I am crafting a new calendar for my daily activities and goals. I have things to do, but most of all, I need to nurture myself, decide what is next, and move forward stronger, more joyful, and more peaceful.

I honestly feel a bit guilty (which indicates how detached I am from taking care of myself). I preach self-care and yet, I struggle with truly taking care of myself. I have been sick for the last few weeks, not sleeping the best, eating sporadically. This ends today. I declare that I will do my best by me from this day forward.

I realize that the reason some of my dreams are not coming to fruition is because I am not keeping my word to myself. I deserve better than I have been giving myself. No more betraying myself, punishing myself, not doing what I know is best for me. I am unplugging and doing a hard reset!

Cheers to what is to come!

Ashaki

Where There is Ruin

Peace to you all from my goddess queendom. I hope this post finds you all safe, healthy, and in peace. Who could have known that the world be so vastly different since my last time writing here?

I have realized so much about myself and my children during this time of being mostly separate from the external world. And coincidentally or not, I transitioned from my full-time job right before all of the shifts occurred here in my city of Charlotte.

This morning, the quote by Rumi “where there is ruin, there is hope for treasure” came to my spirit. I always loved the quote as it speaks to the life I have lived- so much adversity, so much strife, and yet so much joy and love.

I know that lots of people can only see ruin, the devastation and uncertainty of tomorrow and moving forward. I feel inclined to remind you that there is still so much to be grateful for, so much to look forward to, so much that can bring us all more joy if we only choose to look a little deeper.

All across the world, we see people being just a little more patient, a little more kind, a little more grateful. The true unsung heroes are finally being seen for who they are and the outstanding work that they do. There have been reports that global warming has calmed a bit, animals that have not been seen in a long time in certain areas have returned, and Earth Mother Onile is breathing again.

I am sending you all love today and moving forward. We will get through this transformative time–together. If you find yourself struggling with your emotions, reach out to a friend or a family member. You do not have to go this alone. Until the next time, take care my friends.

 

Peace,

Ashaki

Lessons from a Decade of Living

Peace all! I hope this post finds you well. I was sitting here this morning scrolling through Facebook looking at all of the 10 year reflective posts. I even posted my own- a picture from late 2009 when I was pregnant with my son Bryson and a picture of me taken recently.

On the surface, you can see how much I have changed in my appearance. I look younger now than I did then. But, on a deeper level, I am vastly different than I was then. In 2009, I was in a loveless marriage. I constantly felt that I had to prove something, be perfect (whatever the hell perfect means), and fit into some image that I felt would help my life improve.

I was in undergraduate school working on obtaining a Bachelor of Arts degree in Business Administration. I was working full time as a nurse in a nursing home. I was a wife and mother of 4.5 children. And I was miserable. I wanted so much more of life and more for myself.

I wanted to not water myself down for folks- to be my amazingly intelligent, wild, magickal self but, I was in denial. I allowed church to dictate my manners, my marriage to isolate me from enjoying things, my children to be an excuse as to why I couldn’t be free.

I thought nothing would change until one day 3 years later when my now ex -husband was taken away to federal prison. Then, it was just my children and I . I made a decision to leave familiar and dive head first into something new. I began to run every day and my figure slimmed. No coincidence that my hair journey began shortly before December 24th, 2010 when I cut all the chemicals out revealing curls and expanding my energy.

It was like a domino effect really. I chopped the hair, got pregnant again 2010, gave birth in 2011, husband gone and marriage over in 2012, started taking control of my life and taking risks in 2012, moved away in 2013….and now in 2019….I am me!

I began to do what I wanted and how I wanted. There were times when I would revert back– my crazy ass wound up in a terrible relationship with a narcissist after my marriage ended. However, even through that, I continued to pursue myself. I allowed myself to breathe, to enjoy myself, travel, eat , cry, move my body, make new friends, let some go, connect to spirit, heal, and most of all-BE!

May 2020 bring more of me to me- more joy, more experiences, more love, more passion, more authenticity, more connection, just more. I am so, so ready!

 

Peace,

Ashaki A.

 

 

Birthday Month….

It is hard to fathom that next week I will be 38. 38 years old. When did I get so old? What happened to my roaring twenties? I am almost 40 years old. I can only shake my head because I still have the energy of my 25 year old self, well with the exception of craving my bed instead of the dance floor every weekend.

When I look back at my life, I have regrets, memories of triumphs, failures, successes, and struggles. Mostly I feel grateful. I feel grateful for making it to this age. I am grateful to be able to be present for my beautiful children. I am grateful for finally embracing who I truly am at my core and actively pursuing expressing the fullness of self each and every day. I am grateful for the next chapter and so much more.

As I reflect on the strides I have made from last year to now, I honestly feel joy and a bit of anxiety. I always wonder if I am doing all that I can to secure my success and if this path is indeed the path that I should be following. But, each and every time though doubts rise up, divine intelligence comes in and reminds me that I am following my own divine path. I must remain diligent as divine timing dictates the movement and progression of all things.

38 rotations around the sun. 38 represents happiness, growth, material abundance. This number combines the energy of 3 and 8. I am coming into my season. It is finally my time. And I am open to receive that which the universe has for me. The beauty of this birthday is also that I am taking others along with me through my divine assignment as well as with my soul tribe.

I am welcoming 38 with a smile, a wink, and a slow wine!

 

Peace,

Ashaki

Stepping Up My Game

Greetings fam! As always, I hope this message finds you well. I am coming to you all on the brink of explosion, well probably more like an implosion because I am usually very non-confrontational.

I know that I have to make some more major decisions. And they are not going to be easy but, they are so necessary. I have had to make other adjustments over the past 2 years that have brought tears, anxiety, and more unpleasantness.

These new changes are probably going to induce some of those same emotions but, I always follow my first mind. If my first mind tells me to let something or someone go, I do just that nowadays. I spent many years denying those thoughts and suffered much in the long run because of my “kung-fu grip” approach to people.

Some of these changes involve my lifestyle. I am going to push myself more physically, increase my overall care of myself, and really focus on improving myself. I am currently sipping on a nice smoothie as I type this (insert wink here!). I am actually considering heading back to the gym! Even if I only make it to the gym a few nights a week, I think it will be good for me to just get out of the house, focus on making improvements, and build some new self-care practices in addition to what I do already.

I am also going to work towards putting myself out there more. I must admit it is frightening to expose my spiritual business to the entire world, approaching new potential clients, and sharing my gifts. I am just like anyone, I feel self-doubt, unworthiness, and small compared to others that I see. However, there is something within me that will not allow me to not move forward. So, here I come- out in the open for the world to see.

This is just a small snapshot of me stepping my game up. I have so much more to do….

#staytuned

 

Peace,

Ashaki

Wrapping Up 2018

Greetings!

I hope this post finds you well. I cannot believe that we are sitting at the end of 2018. So much has changed, been realized, been released, and so on this year. I learned a lot of lessons this year and am striving to apply those jewels of wisdom into my future.

This year was filled with new life, loss, death, pain, regret. I honestly still am processing a ton of it, but that is the way that you grow from so-called “negative” experiences. So many of us try to fake our way through it, deny how we feel, and refuse to release what truly bothered us, hurt us, and changed us.

There’s a process in progress and though it can be fun, exciting, and more awesome adjectives, it can also cause anxiety, tears, disappointment, and more.  However, what I have learned it that you are entitled to feel how you feel- just don’t remain in that state. Take every obstacle, every setback, every difficulty, every unfavorable situation and flip them on its head. View them as lessons and opportunities for your own growth.

So, do not lament about what 2018 was. Instead, rejoice in what the year taught you, how much you have grown, and how much wiser you have become over this last year. You have so much to look forward to, if only you get into the correct mindstate.

Next year is a 3 year. In numerology, 3 is an action number, a highly creative number, one that represents self-confidence. This number is an indication that next year, we all should focus on working on our passions and making our dreams come true. This next year brings tons of activity, movement, and new starts. So, get ready and stay tuned for more from yours truly!

And remember, you are a co-creator. The world is literally your canvas.

 

 

Peace,

Ashaki