Peace and blessings! Man, oh man, this year is gone. I honestly cannot say that this year has flown by because, for me, it has not. Each month brought new challenges, accomplishments, struggles, triumphs, ending, beginnings, and many, many, many decisions.
When this year began, I had decided to leave SC for good. I had endured so much tribulation since returning the previous April and I simply did not see an out for it all. I had fought to carve out a space for myself but still felt very much imprisoned and hopeless. I began to use all of my might to find and be everything that Ashaki needed in her life- I became my own personal life, health, spiritual, financial coach. I cheered for myself, encouraged myself, and truly challenged myself to be and to do better.
Seeking what I wanted and needed for my life, I found myself drawn back to the city that had become home to me but I was so unsure that I could do it alone. Here I was a single mother of 5 children aged 12 and under. How could I do it? I would need to find work and a home again. I resolved to convince myself that transition would be easy if it was to be done. I began to become laser focused on true self care and absolutely indulge in intense self- love. And the more that I worked on myself, the more that I saw my reality begin to shift.
I was recruited to a new job and found my new apartment in my home city very easily. The move was daunting and quite rough. The apartment is still not decorated the way that I desire but it is oozing with peace and love. I have found a new sense of joy in my new surroundings as well. I have a few new friends and acquaintances and am happy to have reconnected to old ones. We all have a tribe—I am fortunate to know mine and their love for me is apparent. I am diligently working on a new book, started a new business and am working to reopen my Afrikan products business. And let me not forget that I became a grandmother. I absolutely loathe not living close to him, but I adore him so much!
Life is good. As we look to beginning a new year, let us be mindful and review all that we accomplished in 2017. I am relaxing and releasing– literally. Goodbye to regret, to old wounds, to missed opportunities, to old ways and thoughts and behaviors. Goodbye to fear, to watering myself down, to sparing feelings. Goodbye to those individuals who are not meant to continue on this journey. It has been real. Good riddance to insecurity, to self- doubt, to giving all to others and none to myself. Time out for hitting the mute button, to not experiencing life on the level which I desire! It is time for me to stop frontin on myself and fully embrace and let go of self -imposed restraints. I am gonna ride this baby until the wheels fall off! Peace to the upcoming year. I am truly ready!
Cheers to a New Year!