20 Years As a Mother…..

Peace, love, and light fam! I hope all is well with you all on this Friday. Today is a very special day—this is my eldest Sun’s 20th bEarthday. I can hardly believe he is 20! He is happy, healthy, doing well, and progressing in his life. There is a time when I was unsure of how my life would be at this time in my life. I gave birth to him when I was 16. My sweet sixteen was a very sad day, filled with eye rolling, teeth sucking, and resentment sent towards me.

My sun’s biological father was not involved at all during my pregnancy or after. My mother constantly threatened me with foster homes, group homes, taunting that she would “turn me over to the state”.  I was told by a guy at school that I should “get rid of it”. I was told by a few friends that their parents told them they couldn’t be my friend anymore because I was pregnant. I felt like a complete and utter failure; a pariah. But, my spirit is strong and resilient, so I resolved to be a great mother and make things work for my baby and I—no matter what.

I gave birth on July 21st, 1997 at 2:51 a.m to a 7 pound, 2.9 ounce beautiful, big-eyed boy that I named Shamar Malik DeBerry. He was perfect in my eyes. Being a teenage mom had its challenges, but I persevered.  And there were many bruises and bumps along the way. He almost died from an illness when he was 7 months, I was in an abusive relationship, which put us both in danger at times. I have been homeless and had to send him to live with family for 6 months once. I worked too much and wasn’t present as much as I had liked to have been.. We have literally lost everything and rebuilt many times over the years.

But, I never lost the determination I had that told me every morning “things will get better”. And over the years, they have. I had to grow up before I gave birth to him. My life has been filled with dysfunction, pain, death, and disorder. But, my life has also been filled with love, joy, triumph, life, light, and abundance. This sun is now a man and I am very proud of what he is doing right now. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. But is being a mother to him and my other 5 children worth it? Absolutely yes. I know I am a better individual because of them. They are the light in my life. They are my motivation. And if I could turn back the hands of time, I would still be the mother of the Tribe.

 

Have an awesome weekend!

 

Peace, Love, and Abundant Light,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

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Her Life Mattered

Peace, love, and abundant light to all on this marvelous Monday. I am still adjusting to my new home, job, ventures, and return to the city. It is still somewhat surreal but I am thoroughly enjoying the process. I have been feeling like I need to speak on something for a while but I avoided the topic because I truly am still processing the harshness and atrocity of it all.

Bianca Roberson’s name has become known throughout the world because of her murder in a so-called instance of road rage. I have never quelled my words when it came to instances of outright racism. This case and her death is a bit personal for me as her father is a dear friend and confidante of mine. To see him on the news, the pain in his eyes, and the determination in his tone, and the story of her murder, I can only feel rage that this has truly hit home for me.

Bianca had a promising future that was snatched away by some Johnny Come Lately, who I honestly believe to have in his mind that her life was his to take because of an assumed level of superiority. I feel like the explanation given by authorities of this case being one of road rage is a cop out for yet another case of a white person feeling that they have the authority to take the life of any black person they see or encounter.

After he turned himself in, I took a good hard look into his eyes and saw nothing—no emotion, no remorse, no fear. His energy was one of not regret, but of indifference. He didn’t seem to give one care about the life he took and all of the people affected by his disgusting actions. And his look was the same of Dylan Roof and all of the others who chose to take the life of one of our own.

There is one thing that I know will not happen is I know my dear brother will not be on television speaking of forgiving this man. He wants justice on the highest level and I stand with him. Last Friday, her family had to lay her body to rest. I was not able to be present but I was there in spirit. I will travel to see them as soon as possible. I stand with all of the families of those who have been slain because of the hatred of another. And although I teach and live a spiritual lifestyle and speak on transforming a life, I am still fighting for my people and I always will. This fight has just begun and Bianca did not die in vain.

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali