20 Years As a Mother…..

Peace, love, and light fam! I hope all is well with you all on this Friday. Today is a very special day—this is my eldest Sun’s 20th bEarthday. I can hardly believe he is 20! He is happy, healthy, doing well, and progressing in his life. There is a time when I was unsure of how my life would be at this time in my life. I gave birth to him when I was 16. My sweet sixteen was a very sad day, filled with eye rolling, teeth sucking, and resentment sent towards me.

My sun’s biological father was not involved at all during my pregnancy or after. My mother constantly threatened me with foster homes, group homes, taunting that she would “turn me over to the state”.  I was told by a guy at school that I should “get rid of it”. I was told by a few friends that their parents told them they couldn’t be my friend anymore because I was pregnant. I felt like a complete and utter failure; a pariah. But, my spirit is strong and resilient, so I resolved to be a great mother and make things work for my baby and I—no matter what.

I gave birth on July 21st, 1997 at 2:51 a.m to a 7 pound, 2.9 ounce beautiful, big-eyed boy that I named Shamar Malik DeBerry. He was perfect in my eyes. Being a teenage mom had its challenges, but I persevered.  And there were many bruises and bumps along the way. He almost died from an illness when he was 7 months, I was in an abusive relationship, which put us both in danger at times. I have been homeless and had to send him to live with family for 6 months once. I worked too much and wasn’t present as much as I had liked to have been.. We have literally lost everything and rebuilt many times over the years.

But, I never lost the determination I had that told me every morning “things will get better”. And over the years, they have. I had to grow up before I gave birth to him. My life has been filled with dysfunction, pain, death, and disorder. But, my life has also been filled with love, joy, triumph, life, light, and abundance. This sun is now a man and I am very proud of what he is doing right now. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. But is being a mother to him and my other 5 children worth it? Absolutely yes. I know I am a better individual because of them. They are the light in my life. They are my motivation. And if I could turn back the hands of time, I would still be the mother of the Tribe.

 

Have an awesome weekend!

 

Peace, Love, and Abundant Light,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Her Life Mattered

Peace, love, and abundant light to all on this marvelous Monday. I am still adjusting to my new home, job, ventures, and return to the city. It is still somewhat surreal but I am thoroughly enjoying the process. I have been feeling like I need to speak on something for a while but I avoided the topic because I truly am still processing the harshness and atrocity of it all.

Bianca Roberson’s name has become known throughout the world because of her murder in a so-called instance of road rage. I have never quelled my words when it came to instances of outright racism. This case and her death is a bit personal for me as her father is a dear friend and confidante of mine. To see him on the news, the pain in his eyes, and the determination in his tone, and the story of her murder, I can only feel rage that this has truly hit home for me.

Bianca had a promising future that was snatched away by some Johnny Come Lately, who I honestly believe to have in his mind that her life was his to take because of an assumed level of superiority. I feel like the explanation given by authorities of this case being one of road rage is a cop out for yet another case of a white person feeling that they have the authority to take the life of any black person they see or encounter.

After he turned himself in, I took a good hard look into his eyes and saw nothing—no emotion, no remorse, no fear. His energy was one of not regret, but of indifference. He didn’t seem to give one care about the life he took and all of the people affected by his disgusting actions. And his look was the same of Dylan Roof and all of the others who chose to take the life of one of our own.

There is one thing that I know will not happen is I know my dear brother will not be on television speaking of forgiving this man. He wants justice on the highest level and I stand with him. Last Friday, her family had to lay her body to rest. I was not able to be present but I was there in spirit. I will travel to see them as soon as possible. I stand with all of the families of those who have been slain because of the hatred of another. And although I teach and live a spiritual lifestyle and speak on transforming a life, I am still fighting for my people and I always will. This fight has just begun and Bianca did not die in vain.

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Embracing a New Existence

Peace, love, and much light fam! Man oh man what a past few weeks has this been. I just moved to a different state this past weekend and I am still processing all that has happened. However, I am very excited for all that the universe has in store for my children and I. I have been super busy over the past month or so and I am enjoying every minute of it.

I wanted to come here and encourage each of you to begin to expect GREATNESS for your own life.  Do not be afraid of living life in a bigger way with a different experience than you ever have before. I admittedly have had to check myself today and yesterday due to me feeling thrown off about my new life. I am living a more affluent neighborhood. There are no liquor stores on every corner, there are no fast food restaurants on every corner, there is no loud music bumping through my neighborhood and guess what? It is absolutely fine for it not to be. I am realizing that I have to get used to a different experience if I want to have a different lifestyle. I am headed towards living my ideal lifestyle and I know and understand that my interactions and surroundings will change as a result.

I have come full circle in my life—once again. I am taking a huge risk once more. Taking risks has always garnered the greatest return. I am embracing the change and realizing my greatest desires in the process. I encourage you to grab life by the proverbial reins and pursue it with the greatest vigor that you can possibly muster. As I always say, life is to be lived. Live it abundantly!!

 

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

The Results Are In!

Peace fam. To say that I am overwhelmingly excited would be an understatement this morning. A few months ago, I submitted my DNA to be tested for my ancestral lineage. I have always wanted to know what countries my bloodlines led to but had never taken the time or resources to do so. As you may or may not know, I am legally changing my name from my birth name. I love my family, no doubt, but my attachment to a name that is not reflective of my lineage, heritage, or lifestyle (among other things) led me to want to choose a name more in line with the life I am building and the legacy I am leaving behind. Thus, you have Ashaki, a West Afrikan name that means beautiful.

Well, let me get to it. Drumroll please lol! I received my results last night. My DNA is a combination of Cameroon/Congo, Nigeria, Benin/Toga, and Senegal. I only have 8% European (and a message from Ancestry saying that it is a “low confidence region). Anyway, I am highly honored to be one of the few Afrikans living in Amerikka that actually knows their origins. I am also very happy to have found some family that share DNA with me. I also reviewed the birth records of my paternal grandfather online which showed where he was born in Jamaica, as well as the birth date of my maternal great-great grandfather, who was born in 1886. How amazing this journey of self discovery is!! I was moved to tears looking at the military records of my great grandfather, the census of my maternal great grandfather, as well as other documents.

I am piecing together history for my descendants. They will know where they come from. We are resilient, we are strong, we are Afrikan!! I have been under reconstruction now for months, learning who I am as a woman, finding my weaknesses, my strengths, my shortcomings, my quirks. I have been taking care of self. Now, I am finding out parts of myself that I did not know existed. Thousands of years ago, my ancestors in Cameroon, Nigeria, Benin, Senegal were living, loving, working, and dreaming. I am my ancestors wildest dreams. I am my ancestors. I am back.

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Today’s Insights

Peace peace fam! I have been uber busy these days and I feel absolutely awesome about how everything is finally coming together for me. I do genuinely hope all is well on your end. I want to talk about a few things.

First of all, I finally have figured out that being busy and being productive are absolutely two different things (though I often use busy to describe my days). I have wasted time literally on nonsense. I notice the RESULTS when I am being productive versus when I am “busy”. Being busy is like riding a stationary bicycle– no matter how hard or fast that you pedal, your ass is going nowhere fast!

Secondly, I have come to the realization that my reach and impact on others if far more than I could have imagined. I have had a few very interesting encounters over the past few weeks–the most eye opening coming from a brother from Ghana. He “knew” me through a mutual friend from Nigeria that I have known for several years. Nevertheless, he explained how much he loved me because of my outspokenness on Afrikan and Amerikan Afrikan issues. I was caught completely off guard but honestly humbled at the same time.

Lastly, I am absolutely bursting with joy these days and it is seemingly contagious. The people around me beam with joy as I “cut the fool”. I have been caught dancing in the hall at my job a few times. I wake up smiling. I must have spring fever LOL!! No, in all honesty, my joy is a choice. I am naturally very bubbly and energetic. But, I am purposely choosing to live each day basking in joy because the universe is conspiring to make all of my dreams a present reality.

So, I encourage you to open your eyes to the possibility of what you think may be impossibility…….You never know where your intentions and heart may take you…

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Repainting Your Life Landscape

Peace, love, and light fam! Hope you are enjoying your Sunday. It is not even 8:30 here and I have to say I am feeling quite lovely. Well I launched my business this past week and am so excited about all that is to come. I was thinking on how I have changed the course of the past few days by choosing not to participate in activities or conversation that are based on negativity or things that simply are not feeding my spirit. I have literally woke up everyday with a smile on my face and not because everything is copacetic or perfect but because I am truly grateful for my life and all that is happening and going to happen. I have found peace and  am literally chilling in the eye of the proverbial storm!

I have also been reflecting on the connectedness of us all and how awesome it is to be connected to so many amazing people. I am seeing great work among them, progress, babies being born, couples dedicating themselves to each other, and so much more. I am ecstatic for them and their journey. So, I wanted to share 3 insights to help you begin the process of changing the landscape of your life.

  1. Know that your life matters. I know that may sound trivial to some but as a woman who did not know that my life was worthy, was never told that my life mattered, or that I was important, learning that my life mattered was life altering.
  2. Know that just as there is light and dark, there will be trials and triumphs. The universe dictates that there be balance in all things. Life will present obstacles and it is not always easy. Just hold onto the fact that all things are temporary and that you can weather the storm
  3. Know that you have a purpose to serve. Your soul chose to come to the planet at this time to serve a particular purpose. I once believed that I was damned and somehow had been a mistake. But now I know and realize that the little voice that was telling me all of these hurtful things was not my voice, but voices of others that had been an influence in my life. They no longer dictate how I feel. My life has an amazing purpose and so does yours.

So, there you have it. Your life matters, life will have ups and downs, and you have purpose. Meditate on these insights today. Allow your spirit to lead you. Each new day is a promise for more of everything and an opportunity to begin again. If you would like more guidance and assistance on living your best life, please subscribe to www.ashakiali.com. You can also find my on social media (Instagram as CoachAli17 (True Transformation Coach), Twitter (@TrueTransforma1), and FB at True Transformation Life & Health Coaching Services. I look forward to hearing from you!

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

I’m Launching a New Business!! #Excited

Peace fam! I hope you are enjoying this beautiful Sunday evening. I am currently sitting on the porch listening to Gregory Isaacs as I write this.  Today has been somewhat strange, yet invigorating to my spirit. Speaking with spiritual people, brings so much light to my spirit! Anyway, I wanted to informally announce my new business. I have literally talked myself out of this way too many times and now I am convinced that this is the time.

True Transformation Life & Health Coaching Services is a company dedicated to helping you find balance, light, and most of all, to assist you to live your best life yet by providing practical and insightful guidance from yours truly. I realize that I have been coaching people for years and it is high time that I share my gifts with the world. I am here to be of assistance and that is what I plan on doing. I am offering coaching packages as well as free gifts for subscribing to my email list. I will be doing free online workshops and talks as well, with much, much more to come in the future. So, if you have not taken time to subscribe to my YouTube channel, Chroniclez of a Lioness, or to this blog, of if you have not reached out to my online on FB or Twitter, please do so. I would love to connect with you!

May 1st is the launch date and I am uber-excited! If you want to learn how to restore the joy to your life, how to find peace in the midst of chaos, or even how I manage to keep smiling even when the storms are raging, stay tuned!! You can find out more about my business and services at www.ashakiali.com

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Beginning—Again

Peace, love, and light fam. This time last year, I was announcing my engagement. Now, here I am single, free, sassy, enlightened, and evolving. I have learned so much since this time last year. For a while, I was sitting in a pile of regret—regret for letting the comfort of one person stop me from experiencing the love of another, regret for being so devoted to family that I sacrificed my life, regret from not pursuing the things that I love wholeheartedly, regret from not believing in my own power.

Now, I feel overwhelming levels of anticipation. I am so ready to start anew, leave all the regrets in the past, and move onward and upward into my life. I am excited really. With each new dawn lies a promise of another chance. I am allowing myself the freedom to pursue and experience all that I desire. Although I am a realist, I am so optimistic about my future and the future of everyone connected to me.

I have taken the last six months to truly reflect on my shortcomings, my failures, my mistakes. Somethings made me cry, some things made me angry, but mostly the reflection made me learn that accountability is so necessary for growth. I cannot play the victim. Each situation that happened only happened because I allowed it. We all have a hand in our own story. I am now choosing to rewrite it.

In the next few months, I will be moving and having new adventures. My tribe (my children) and I are planning some road trips. I am also going deeper into my spiritual practices because in all honesty, my practice is what keeps me rooted, grounded, and sane. I have work to do and I cannot pour from an empty vessel. I must keep myself healthy in all regards. I do hope all is well with everyone. Oh and before I forget, I started a new business that I am in the process of launching—True Transformation Life & Health Coaching Services!!! I am ready to help others find their balance and love the life they live. So, until next time, sending you all high vibrations of peace, love, joy, and abundance…..

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Celebrating Junior

Peace & blessings fam! Seems like it has been eons since I have written but I write everyday, I just do not always blog it, post it, or even put pen to paper. Anyway, my life has changed so much over the last few months—from losing a brother, deciding to bring some things to a close, turning age (36!!), and beginning a new business. I am learning more and more about myself and it is not always easy to look at yourself and love yourself inside and out. Anyway, tomorrow is a very special day. It is the day my baby brother would have turned 33 years old.

It is hard to believe that my brother transitioned from this life 23 years ago, exactly 6 days before his 11th bEarthday. I sometimes can see glimpses of him in my two youngest sons- from the smirk on my baby’s face that he has worn from almost birth to the need to be outdoors as much as humanly possible that my 7-year-old exhibits. My brother is ever present. Memories of him have not faded and some are more distinct than others.

One of my favorite memories of my brother was from a few weeks before his transition. My mother used to work the late shift so he and I would be home alone a lot even during his sickness. Anyway, he and I would watch movies until bedtime. He began to tell me how he knew he was dying and that he knew we were trying to hide the truth from him. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I thought he couldn’t feel my pain because I was dying inside myself. I had just had to bury my father after he was killed in a work related accident and my brother was nearing his time. There was no joy to be felt during that time. I felt very hopeless. And then, my brother helped ease my heart. He told me that I should not be sad because he was not afraid and he was ready to die. He said that each time he closed his eyes angels were there telling him that he was going to be just fine. He told me that he knew that this was just another beginning and that he would not know pain in his new life. I did not understand then, but I fully understand now and my understanding took years.

So, on March 23rd, 1995, my youngest brother, Donald Lovette Johnson Jr. , left his cancer striken 10 year old body and transcended into his new life. He left all the illness, pain, and heartache here on Earth. His spirit lives on no doubt. My brother loved “18 wheelers” (as he called them), riding his red Huffy bicycle, playing outside, and playing NBA Jams. My brother survived having a stroke at 2, brain surgeries, and multiple seizures to live to the ripe age of 10. My brother once kicked my ass for not letting him watch Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. My brother, who would try to follow me on his bike as I rode mine to my friends’ house and get mad and yell “I’m telling Mama!!” when I wouldn’t let him come. My brother, who knows my secrets, knows life behind the doors of our home, and who I kept safe from knowing more than I felt he could handle. My brother, who we called Junior, left an indelible mark upon my life. I am braver, stronger, more loving, more forgiving, and more grateful for life because of him. So, happy happy bEarthday Junior. Your sister loves you eternally……. March 29th will forever be your day so get ready for cake, a nice plate of food, and other offerings….most of all my love.

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

“Andre’a”

Beginning Again…

Peace everyone. It has been quite some time since my last post and for so many different reasons. I have lost a dear loved one, started a new business (which is soon to launch), among other things. I titled this post “Beginning Again” because that is literally what I am having to do at this point in time.

About six weeks ago I joined a business bootcamp. Now, on the surface, it appeared to be solely business based but what I found along the way is that I had to confront my life at its current state. I had to come to the realization that I was not totally clear on what I wanted and once I gained clarity, I knew a lot had to change. Change is not always easy, desired, or painless.

For most of my adult life, I have been someone’s wife and then I was in another serious relationship soon after my marriage ended. I have never had to truly be alone since I was about 22 years old and even then, I had long relationships for the most part. Now, I have to deal with Ashaki– her quirks, her longings, her feelings. It has been emotional but also enlightening.

I just celebrated a bEarthday on March 15th and last weekend I took myself out of town for the weekend. I enjoyed my stay in a lavish hotel, eating beautiful food, getting a massage, and napping to the sound of the ocean. I learned that I am a “company addict”.  I am not the “be alone” type if that makes sense even though I have been feeling that I want to be alone for a while. Anywho, I came to the realization that is not truly the company that I desire but rather the distraction from being with myself.

And so life is beginning–again. I am restructuring everything as I must. And this journey may be arduous but at the end I will be rewarded. No I am not speaking in terms of anything monetary, but I will gain a greater understanding of who I am, what kind of stuff I am made of, and also what I have to offer to the world. I would love to be a wife again someday but for now, let me just learn to be a friend and lover to myself.

 

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali