Peace, love, and light fam and happy Saturday! It is a cold day here in my city of Charlotte, NC. But, I thoroughly enjoy cold weather lol. When I step outside, inhale the brisk air, and look into the clear sky, I am reminded that I am alive. It may be trivial to some, but the coldness reminds me of my life, to breathe, and to realize that my life is my own, but I digress.

I am uber excited for upcoming projects that I am working on. I know you may be thinking, “What is she working on now?” I cannot help but to create. It is a passion of mine and I must feed it. Anywho, I wanted to just drop in quickly to check in everyone. I realize that my reach may not be as far as I would like at this time, but I must continue  to speak my truth and share my stories.

I recently had someone tell me that the things I share has greatly improved the quality of their life. It stirred my soul to hear. We never truly can know the impact that we have on others in this digital world. There are people reading and watching that we may never meet personally. Sharing these digital spaces with you, sharing aspects of my journey, and being unapologetically me is not only therapeutic for me but it is empowering. We all have a story, we all have pearls of wisdom, we all can be impactful. I will continue to share, I will continue to inspire, I will continue to give the best of me to this world until the day comes for this life to end. It is only right.

 

Peace to the World,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

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Suicidal Thoughts……

Peace, love, and abundant light everyone! Hope all is well with you. I decided to do something different today. I usually never pay attention to trending topics but I decided to just look at topics relating to life and what people were interested in, searching for, and in need of. I saw topics ranging from meditation to finding their life purpose. But, one topic that really struck a cord with me was the topic of suicide.

I did a little research and discovered some shocking facts. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:

  1. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States
  2. Each year 44, 193 deaths by suicide each year
  3. For every 1 suicide, there are 25 attempts
  4. There is an average 121 suicides a day

Now, you may be asking yourself, why is Ashaki talking about such a morbid topic? Well, would you have every guessed that I attempted to commit suicide twice in my life. As much as I speak about light, love, and the beauty of life, I know the darkness that life can hold. Each time when I made the decision to end my life, I felt that there was nothing left for me, that life had dealt me a terrible hand, and that the world would be better if I were no longer in it. How selfish and foolish I had been! I spoke ill over my own life. I mean I absolutely hated my life and could not see past my own pain and issues to see just how much I mean to others and how much impact my life could have on others.

I came to the realization that my purpose on this planet though not well known to me, was most definitely real just by the fact that I had been born. I began to nourish my soul through prayer, meditation, and by pursuing the things that make my soul sing. Writing became therapeutic, as did dancing, exercise, and listening to music. I spent time with friends. I spoke out about my issues and began to deal with things I had buried deep in the recesses of my mind years ago. I began to peel back the layers of protection I built up and get real. I cried, and cried, and cried. But, then I saw the resilience I have, I saw how I had successfully navigated really dangerous situations, extreme dysfunction, and at times unbelievable circumstances. I deliberately would say to myself “I love you “to myself until I believed it.

I never spoke of wanting to end my life for many years. I was embarrassed and I felt weak but then I realized that being able to not end my life was not embarrassing but it was an act of courage. I began to share my story with a few people and so many people have shared with me feelings of wanting to commit suicide, even attempts. The reward for me has been to here from someone that something I shared help them to make a different decision. It is my belief that if more people shared their story, more lives could be saved. To those who may have thought about ending their life, please know that your life matters and as long as you have a heartbeat, you have a purpose. Your life is not a mistake and though life can be daunting, it is still good. I truly believe that life is what you make it. Your perspective and your attitude towards life can literally determine how your days play out. Reflect on the great things in your life and think of the people who love you, care for you, who depend on you. You matter and your life is precious.

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

New Additions!

Peace, love, and abundant light everyone! It has been a minute since I have had a chance to put my fingers to the keys and let go but here I am, on Friday the 13th nonetheless. Let me insert a disclaimer here: I do not view Friday 13th as a bad day, day of bad luck, or any of the other superstitions that exist in this world.

I received the most precious gift from my oldest Sun on September 28th in the form of a new grandsun and I am absolutely over the moon in love with him! Yes, you read that correctly—I am a Yeye, a nanny, a glam-ma lol and I am so overjoyed. I spent this past weekend with them and I literally sat in the nursery, rocking him, changing him, talking to him, and igniting his chakras with crystals—all the things a Yeye should do.

I have been meditating on the aspect of having a grandsun and I have come to the conclusion that I should continue to be as transparent and authentic as I am. He will find peace and love and joy within the confines of his Yeye’s home. I will teach him things that he will never hear in any classroom in America. He will be allowed to express himself honestly and without fear of being judged. I will strive to be the very best nana that I can possibly be.

I wrote a blog post about being a teenage mother not too long ago. I knew that it was a possibility of my becoming a grandmother in my 30’s. My life has been far from “normal”, whatever the hell that means. And I would not have it any other way.  I view life as a grand adventure- a time for us to experience things fully and this new life that we have been blessed with is yet another adventure and lesson for us all.  Life is a lovely circle, ever moving and expanding. Jaidan is another ring in our family’s circle……

 

Peace & Abundance,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Patience is Truly a Virtue

Peace, love, and light fam and Happy Friday! It has been a while since my last blog post but here I am nonetheless. The word for this week for me is P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E!! I have had my patience tested from all directions, been pulled this way and that, and felt like I had been raked across the proverbial coals. But, alas, I am still here, still found a way to smile, and successfully survived a very hellish week. So, one could say that I am #Winning! (Insert cackle here!)

I sometimes am unaware of how organized I am and how controlling I can be. I also experience high levels of anxiety when things are not flowing as I would like. But, as Super as I am , I am also still just a spirit having a human experience. I am introverted as well so I need my alone time. Being in the world can be a bit overwhelming for me and I feel like fleeing at times. And add to all of that the fact that I am a mother. Whoooosaaaahhhhh!!

I said all of that to say this, take every challenge as a lesson and grow from them. I have learned 5 major lessons this week:

  1. Plan for the unexpected.
  2. My time management skills need tweeking.
  3. Be grateful for the small things.
  4. Continue self care practices even in rough times
  5. Never ignore your gut instinct.

I know my list may seem random but trust me, everything that could have gone haywire (plan for the unexpected); time was not on my side but most of it was my fault for not planning properly; I still have a home to go to , awesome friends/family, a lovely spirit, and pure soul (small things); my shoulder is killing me because I have neglected doing yoga and my mind is scattered from not meditating, and lastly, all of the above could have gone differently if I had followed my first instinct.

Now everyone say “OMMMMMMMMM!” In the words of Russell Simmons, I am zen as fuck…..And more prepared to go into battle…….
Have an awesome weekend everyone and remember the word of the day is patience—patience is surely a virtue.

 

Au Revoir,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Happy bEarthday Daddy!

Peace and blessings fam! I do hope all is well with everyone. Today is my father’s bEarthday, as well as the great Marcus Mosiah Garvey. I wanted to share a few fond memories as well as lessons that I learned growing up. My father was killed on a worksite at age 47. He left behind a large family and many friends but his legacy continues.

My father, Rev. Alexander Jackson Jr. was a very strong man—strong in his body and his mind as well. I love books, reading, research, and so did he. He believed that reading was essential to life—as essential as air is to breathing. I remember catching him watching me read one summer evening. I asked him what he was looking at and he just smiled and told me to keep reading.

I learned how men should treat their children and wife. He was very loving and affectionate. He made sure that his house was taken care of, that his woman was well cared for and worry free, and that his children’s needs have been met. The love he had for his family was apparent in his eyes and his interactions.

My father’s charitable spirit is what I think about very often, as I strive to give back to my own community. I can remember vividly him repairing poor people’s houses for free. It takes a huge heart to give so freely and I am so proud to have been born to a man who saw people in need and took it upon himself to give of himself.

I could go on and on about my daddy. I could tell you how his eyes change colors when he was angry or how he teased about being a member of the Mandinka tribe. I could reminisce about holidays gone by and how he always told me how I looked just like his mother. But, I won’t. I will end my reminiscings with this…

I love and miss you daddy. You are still the best!

 

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

AKA “Baby Girl”

Full Moons & Manifesting

Peace, love, and light fam. I hope all is well with everyone on this Full Moon day. The energy today is mad high today! I don’t know how many of you are into astrological events, but I truly am. I absolutely love Full Moons, the promise of new beginnings, releasing old patterns, aches, and pains, and such. I am a person with a ton of different pursuits and interests, some a little strange to the general public lol but I am who I am and wouldn’t have it any other way.

When I was a little girl, my imagination was essential to my survival and overall well-being. There were things that happened in my house and in my neighborhood that weren’t pleasant and life was hard. I used my imagination to take me to the Great Wall of China, to play in the woods with gnomes and fairies, to ride a unicorn up to a rainbow. I realize that imagination has been one of my greatest strengths over the years. Imagination is literally a key to creating a new reality.

I have really been focused on manifesting new and wonderful things in my life. I have learned that my imagination is an essential tool to manifesting. How many times have you imagined yourself doing something that you truly enjoy, traveling to someplace new, pursuing a dream that you’ve had all of your life? Do you know that you desire those things because you actually can have what you desire?

I encourage you to reflect on what it is that you truly want out of your life and allow your imagination to wander there. You have all of the ability and the power to make it happen. You simply have to believe. Tap into the magic of the Moon friends. She is beckoning to you. Imagine……

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20 Years As a Mother…..

Peace, love, and light fam! I hope all is well with you all on this Friday. Today is a very special day—this is my eldest Sun’s 20th bEarthday. I can hardly believe he is 20! He is happy, healthy, doing well, and progressing in his life. There is a time when I was unsure of how my life would be at this time in my life. I gave birth to him when I was 16. My sweet sixteen was a very sad day, filled with eye rolling, teeth sucking, and resentment sent towards me.

My sun’s biological father was not involved at all during my pregnancy or after. My mother constantly threatened me with foster homes, group homes, taunting that she would “turn me over to the state”.  I was told by a guy at school that I should “get rid of it”. I was told by a few friends that their parents told them they couldn’t be my friend anymore because I was pregnant. I felt like a complete and utter failure; a pariah. But, my spirit is strong and resilient, so I resolved to be a great mother and make things work for my baby and I—no matter what.

I gave birth on July 21st, 1997 at 2:51 a.m to a 7 pound, 2.9 ounce beautiful, big-eyed boy that I named Shamar Malik DeBerry. He was perfect in my eyes. Being a teenage mom had its challenges, but I persevered.  And there were many bruises and bumps along the way. He almost died from an illness when he was 7 months, I was in an abusive relationship, which put us both in danger at times. I have been homeless and had to send him to live with family for 6 months once. I worked too much and wasn’t present as much as I had liked to have been.. We have literally lost everything and rebuilt many times over the years.

But, I never lost the determination I had that told me every morning “things will get better”. And over the years, they have. I had to grow up before I gave birth to him. My life has been filled with dysfunction, pain, death, and disorder. But, my life has also been filled with love, joy, triumph, life, light, and abundance. This sun is now a man and I am very proud of what he is doing right now. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. But is being a mother to him and my other 5 children worth it? Absolutely yes. I know I am a better individual because of them. They are the light in my life. They are my motivation. And if I could turn back the hands of time, I would still be the mother of the Tribe.

 

Have an awesome weekend!

 

Peace, Love, and Abundant Light,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Her Life Mattered

Peace, love, and abundant light to all on this marvelous Monday. I am still adjusting to my new home, job, ventures, and return to the city. It is still somewhat surreal but I am thoroughly enjoying the process. I have been feeling like I need to speak on something for a while but I avoided the topic because I truly am still processing the harshness and atrocity of it all.

Bianca Roberson’s name has become known throughout the world because of her murder in a so-called instance of road rage. I have never quelled my words when it came to instances of outright racism. This case and her death is a bit personal for me as her father is a dear friend and confidante of mine. To see him on the news, the pain in his eyes, and the determination in his tone, and the story of her murder, I can only feel rage that this has truly hit home for me.

Bianca had a promising future that was snatched away by some Johnny Come Lately, who I honestly believe to have in his mind that her life was his to take because of an assumed level of superiority. I feel like the explanation given by authorities of this case being one of road rage is a cop out for yet another case of a white person feeling that they have the authority to take the life of any black person they see or encounter.

After he turned himself in, I took a good hard look into his eyes and saw nothing—no emotion, no remorse, no fear. His energy was one of not regret, but of indifference. He didn’t seem to give one care about the life he took and all of the people affected by his disgusting actions. And his look was the same of Dylan Roof and all of the others who chose to take the life of one of our own.

There is one thing that I know will not happen is I know my dear brother will not be on television speaking of forgiving this man. He wants justice on the highest level and I stand with him. Last Friday, her family had to lay her body to rest. I was not able to be present but I was there in spirit. I will travel to see them as soon as possible. I stand with all of the families of those who have been slain because of the hatred of another. And although I teach and live a spiritual lifestyle and speak on transforming a life, I am still fighting for my people and I always will. This fight has just begun and Bianca did not die in vain.

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

Embracing a New Existence

Peace, love, and much light fam! Man oh man what a past few weeks has this been. I just moved to a different state this past weekend and I am still processing all that has happened. However, I am very excited for all that the universe has in store for my children and I. I have been super busy over the past month or so and I am enjoying every minute of it.

I wanted to come here and encourage each of you to begin to expect GREATNESS for your own life.  Do not be afraid of living life in a bigger way with a different experience than you ever have before. I admittedly have had to check myself today and yesterday due to me feeling thrown off about my new life. I am living a more affluent neighborhood. There are no liquor stores on every corner, there are no fast food restaurants on every corner, there is no loud music bumping through my neighborhood and guess what? It is absolutely fine for it not to be. I am realizing that I have to get used to a different experience if I want to have a different lifestyle. I am headed towards living my ideal lifestyle and I know and understand that my interactions and surroundings will change as a result.

I have come full circle in my life—once again. I am taking a huge risk once more. Taking risks has always garnered the greatest return. I am embracing the change and realizing my greatest desires in the process. I encourage you to grab life by the proverbial reins and pursue it with the greatest vigor that you can possibly muster. As I always say, life is to be lived. Live it abundantly!!

 

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali

The Results Are In!

Peace fam. To say that I am overwhelmingly excited would be an understatement this morning. A few months ago, I submitted my DNA to be tested for my ancestral lineage. I have always wanted to know what countries my bloodlines led to but had never taken the time or resources to do so. As you may or may not know, I am legally changing my name from my birth name. I love my family, no doubt, but my attachment to a name that is not reflective of my lineage, heritage, or lifestyle (among other things) led me to want to choose a name more in line with the life I am building and the legacy I am leaving behind. Thus, you have Ashaki, a West Afrikan name that means beautiful.

Well, let me get to it. Drumroll please lol! I received my results last night. My DNA is a combination of Cameroon/Congo, Nigeria, Benin/Toga, and Senegal. I only have 8% European (and a message from Ancestry saying that it is a “low confidence region). Anyway, I am highly honored to be one of the few Afrikans living in Amerikka that actually knows their origins. I am also very happy to have found some family that share DNA with me. I also reviewed the birth records of my paternal grandfather online which showed where he was born in Jamaica, as well as the birth date of my maternal great-great grandfather, who was born in 1886. How amazing this journey of self discovery is!! I was moved to tears looking at the military records of my great grandfather, the census of my maternal great grandfather, as well as other documents.

I am piecing together history for my descendants. They will know where they come from. We are resilient, we are strong, we are Afrikan!! I have been under reconstruction now for months, learning who I am as a woman, finding my weaknesses, my strengths, my shortcomings, my quirks. I have been taking care of self. Now, I am finding out parts of myself that I did not know existed. Thousands of years ago, my ancestors in Cameroon, Nigeria, Benin, Senegal were living, loving, working, and dreaming. I am my ancestors wildest dreams. I am my ancestors. I am back.

 

Hetepu,

Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali