Peace, love, and light fam! Can you believe that we are nearing the end of 2016? I certainly cannot but 2016 was quite a year on my end! Anyway, this past week has been very trying for me which is why I have been mostly absent from my blog space, as well as YouTube etc. My laptop took her final bow and I have not gotten a new one yet but, I will soon! So many things are on my mind but one thing that is particularly nagging me and that is the barrage of bashing of black women by black men online.
Let me start with this, I know that these men do not represent the majority (or I sincerely hope not!). Nevertheless, it is an issue that seems to be ongoing and not stopping anytime soon. I don’t know if they have mother issues, a string of failed relationships, or just terrible experiences with the sistas and personally, I don’t give a damn if they have! How dare any black man spew such hatred to the one who birthed him? There is so much wrong with this dynamic.
First of all, the Afrikan diaspora has been under constant attack since the first invaders hit the shores of our beautiful continent. We have NO room for disunity! We have enough outer enemies without there being battling between our own. The war is on and some of the brothers feel as though they are somehow exempt by choosing to lay with a woman that does not share the same experience as he does. No matter how many women he chooses to procreate or have relationships with, he is still an Afrikan and still a part of the struggle, whether he is fighting against the system of racism or fighting for comfort within the system of racism. Some of these men actually are bigger white supremacists than you could imagine.
Secondly, where is this hatred coming from because it could not have just started. And as a mother/sister/daughter, I have to make certain that I am not absorbing the negativity that I see and hear into my own psyche because it can be damaging. I almost feel as though the men who are attacking us are damaged themselves and instead of dealing with their issues, they have instead chosen to attack those who are closest to him—his mother, sister, lover, cousin.
And I will wrap this vent session up with a few points. It is heartbreaking to see some of the memes and discussions about how undesirable we are, how untrustworthy, how annoying, how disagreeable, how “everything negative that one could conceive” we are. It is as though a huge target has been placed upon us and they are taking aim. Now again, I do know and understand that these men are not the majority but in the day and age that we live and with the continued attacks against our people, one would think that they would put their pettiness aside and rise above the bullshit. And yes, I said bullshit because that is exactly what it is.
Now, please do not misunderstand. I am in no way naïve. I know that not all black women are living to their full potential. I know we have work to do; we have women who would rather twerk than cook, whose full time job is going to child support court or the Department of Social Services. But there is work to be done amongst the black men as well because we continue to have men who will not take responsibility of seeds that have created, whose full time job is playing Madden, and who have been in jail more than they have been free. We all need pruning!
In all honesty, I have had some absolutely terrible relationships, had a very dysfunctional upbringing with a less than warm step father, yet you will not hear me utter “Niggas ain’t shit!” I absolutely adore black men! They are my brothers, suns, fathers, grandfathers, uncles, cousins. They are the strength of the community and are so needed. Our community is in desperate need of weeding! Let’s weed out those who seek to destroy the nation. Make them accountable for their actions and make consequences for their wrongs. The black woman has suffered long enough. Damn can she catch a break!!
Ashaki Ma’at Mirembe Ali