Month: January 2019

5 Ways to Improve Your Focus

Posted on by Ashaki Omikunle

Greetings! I hope you all are well and that life is not just happening to you. Today, I wanted to share tips around a topic that was very popular on both my IG and FB. I posted a meme with the title “Please take one”. The picture  included 5 empty glass containers, each with a label. One bottle was labeled “joy”, one was “magic”, and then they were followed by “love”, “focus”, and “calm”.

So many people said that they needed focus so I decided to share practical tips to help them with improving their focus. Here they are:

  1. Meditate, meditate, meditate. I will forever sing the praises of the practice of meditation. The benefits are endless but, for the sake of time, let’s just say meditation definitely helps improve focus
  2. Get clear about where your focus needs to be. We all have a lot of responsibility but, it is necessary to determine the priority of those items on our list. Is it really important that certain things be done right this second or can they wait until tomorrow. Not procrastination, prioritization.
  3. Focus on one thing at the time. I know, I know, it is easier said than done, but in order to be efficient, you have to stop trying to do everything at the same damn time! Cook dinner, then study, then read, then do all your other shit. Trust me, you will drive yourself crazy trying to do all and be all, all the damn time!!
  4. Keep the distractions to a minimum. Log off, unplug, detach, put your phone down and focus…
  5. Keep practicing. Continue to strive to get better at focusing, put the previous steps into action, and be consistent. Your focus will improve over time.

I hope this helps someone. If it isn’t for you. share with a friend or family member who you think needs it  (insert smile here). Until we meet again…take care of you and yours!

 

Peace,

Ashaki

A Nap, No Makeup, A New Normal?

Posted on by Ashaki Omikunle

Greetings, greetings, greetings,

I hope this post finds you well, secure, and in perfect peace. I am feeling refreshed myself. Today, I did something I haven’t done for a very long time- I took a nap. I know that may sound simple but, for someone like me, taking a nap requires a detachment that I do not know and a feeling of guilt that I do not particularly enjoy.

However, today, I decided to do a few things different. I decided to take today off – a day off from my regular. After getting everyone off to school, I went to the market and my favorite botanica, I returned home. I prepared a light breakfast and then decided to lay my tired ass down. LOL, just typing that makes me giggle.

I chose not to work on anything in particular. I chose to only wash and moisturize my face and not wear any makeup. Yes, I absolutely loathe the areas of hyperpigmentation on my cheeks but, my skin needs a rest from all of the chemicals. And though not wearing makeup makes me a bit self conscious, I know that my body needs it. I have learned to listen to my inner wisdom.

And then, I chose to take a nap. Sometimes we have to just stop- stop running around, stop with the neverending to-do list, stop with the marketing and advertising, stop with the workout- just stop and be.

I am beginning to see the power in just be-ing. You have to be still in order to hear the still voice of the divine. You have to just be in order to feel, to process, to accept, to let go, to release, to move on. There is much power in the being.

So, today, makeup-less, I decided to go within, rest, and be. And the being feels so damn good. Strive less to do and more to be. You will not regret it.

Wounded, but Standing

Posted on by Ashaki Omikunle

Greetings,

As always, I hope that this post finds you well. I have honestly been struggling over the past few days. I had to come to the realization that although I am healed from certain traumas, I will always carry the scar and those scars can be quite tender and can still cause pain, even be reopened when not guarded and protected. I have had to make some decisions regarding those I allow in my personal space this week. It is painful but necessary. There is no way that I can subject myself to anyone who questions the validity of things that I openly shared with them- things that have forever changed me as an individual.

We have all had experiences that were painful, even traumatic. Hearing the stories of so many women who have experienced similar trauma is heartbreaking and it also peels back my own scars, causing me to really seek solace and peace within. In years past, a bottle of liquor was salve, but now I have other means of dealing with my anxieties and pain from all that has happened. It seems every time that I have sought what I needed outside of myself, I have been left feeling more hurt and regret for not only what happened but, for who I would have been if that ugliness had never occurred.

I know that this year holds much promise but, there will also be strife. I am already feeling it and it is not comfortable. But, I also understand that space must be created in order to make room for all that is to come. I have felt that I was on the brink of something big for the past few months so, I am being patient until it comes to fruition. I also am going to make even more efforts to be of assistance to all the black girls and women who have suffered or continue to suffer because of what was done to them.  The world can blame them and shame them but, I will uplift them, love them, encourage them, and enlighten them.

I have been fortunate enough to have the courage to speak, to share, to write, to do about things that a lot of people would not dare to. I  used to see my life as one big tumult- a never-ending story line of tragedy and pain. But, not now. I see my life as a testament to a spirit that refuses to give up or give in. My life is decorated with times of near death, almost this, and wouldn’t have that. In this society , I have been labeled almost every stereotype that is- the child born out of wedlock, the welfare child, the teenage mom, the battered wife, the rape victim, and so on. But, I am a creator and the author of my life. I am a woman, an overcomer, a survivor, a conqueror, a writer, a poet, a spiritual guide, an oracle, a teacher, a leader, a mother, and so much more. And I am just getting started.

Peace,

Ashaki