7 Years- Time Well Spent

Peace fam! I do hope this post finds you well. I have been having the damndest time carving out time in my schedule to write my annual Loc-versary post. But, here I am, a day (or few) late but, here nonetheless!

This month marks 7 years as a loc’d goddess, 7 years of having a head of kinky dreads. The number 7 holds so much significance. For me, 7 has always represented completion, self-mastery, god status; 7 is the number of my spiritual goddess mother Yemoja.

A little research and one discovers the number 7 also represents the seeker, the thinker, the intellectual, and so much more. 7 is a highly spiritual number, which brings me back to myself and this celebration of sorts.

 

I am for once standing in my truth, allowing things about myself to be known, sharing gifts that I had hidden for most of my life, and discovering new things about myself along the way. I am finally feeling free enough to fully express my truth through word, video, action, and more. Talk about fucking liberating!

It has taken me years to love myself deeply enough to honor ALL of my emotions, my desires, my needs, my space, my time, the entirety of me! 7 has been a year of completion for me.

I have let go of people, places, situation, and things that are no longer serving me or were unhealthy to me and have no qualms about further releases that are to occur. I am not holding onto anything that will keep me from living my life the way that it is truly intended.

I can actually see my destiny and it is beautiful. I know my purpose and I am walking in it each and every day that I rise and give my tribe what they need through the gifts that I have been given.

Life is coming full circle and I am here for it. As I look at my hair, lightly decorated with new silver hairs, I am pleased. I see the rough times, the successes, the heartaches, the growth.

It is absolutely beautiful.

And it is not over.

 

Peace,

Ashaki

Surveying the kingdom
The journey is getting better and better!

Adventure Time

Greetings!

I do hope this post finds you well. I am always encouraging others to do something different, have new experiences, and connect with other, but often I don’t follow my own advice.

Yesterday I finally stepped outside of my self-made box and went on a new adventure. A group of ladies and myself went to the mountains. The air was crisp and cold, the trees spoke to us of change and ancient times, and the boulders and pathways challenged us to push ourselves beyond all the preconceived notions we held about ourselves.

We first traveled an easy path, talking along the way, meeting and greeting others who had also chosen to spend their day in nature that morning. The connection sparked a hunger for more of this type of scenario. The walk was meditative. The scenery was heavenly.

Then, we decided to take the more challenging route. It was rough, strenuous, but so needed. Reaching the peak of the mountain was so rewarding. The view was simply amazing. My soul felt so fulfilled and then I realized that the old adage “Variety is the spice of life” is so true!

We should all seek to find activities that allow us to see our world through a new set of eyes. And I also believe that evolution requires spending time with different people. They will undoubtedly have varying beliefs, perspectives, and life experiences that you can gain something from.

Spending time in the great outdoors was definitely what I needed at this moment in time. The past 6 months have not been easy but, I have endured. Now, I am realizing that everything that I want truly exists within my “youniverse”, if I only open my eyes and see it.

 

Peace,

Ashaki

Ancestors Watching Over Me

Today, I decided to do some cleaning. I am not working and felt the need to just clean. I began in the bathroom, which is my usual practice, wiping down the sink, toilet, shower, sweeping, rearranging, and reorganizing. Then I moved on to the bedroom, folding clothes and gathering laundry that needed to be washed and so on and so forth.
Then I decided that my altar cloths needed to be washed and the altars needed to be cleansed as well. After the laundry was done and I began to sage the space of my ancestor altar and place everything back in order, I had an urge to change the position and dig up more pictures to add.
I went through my albums and found a picture of my great-grandmother and my uncle Otha Jr. I began to remember a flood of things- from Mama’s laugh to Uncle Otha Jr’s cool stride, to the stories, the meals, riding in his ’64 Impala convertible. I couldn’t help but to also begin to feel sad and overcome with emotions.
There are so many stories that should be shared but the family that once was is not anymore. My mother and I are estranged and have not seen or spoken in a year and a half or longer. Her brother and I were practically raised together, yet he has chosen to not have anything to do with me either. Other family members have passed away or we simply just do not communicate.
I remember my grandmother calling family meetings of sorts for members to hash out their disagreements. Whether they agreed in the end or agreed to disagree, it was always decided that we were still family- through good, bad, or ugly- no matter what. But, once she transcended this earthly life, that fell apart.
I often wonder if there was something else that I could or should have done differently but, I always come back to “Is being who they want serving my highest good?” And the answer, in short, is a resounding no. I cannot be Andre’a Danielle DeBerry, the little girl who endured much, who was a perfectionist, fighting to be herself yet, also fighting to fit in and be someone that the family was proud of. I cannot sit in church and pretend. I cannot be in a loveless marriage just for the sake of saying that I am married to my children’s father. I cannot endure toxicity from my mother or my uncle.
Stepping away from it all, moving away, and choosing to live a life so far removed has not been easy but, it absolutely has been necessary. I had to find me and ultimately choose me. I was not perfect but, I definitely was not walking a true path and had no peace because of it.
Ancestral reverence is a huge part of my life and sometimes I struggle with wondering if my ancestors are upset because of the path that I chose. But, when I hear my great-grandmother’s laugh, or my grandma Lillie comes in a dream and hugs me, I know that I am not a disappointment at all. I am my ancestor’s wildest dream. And all because I chose to live the radical concept of defining and being exactly who the hell I want to be.
May my ancestors forever guide and protect me and may I continue to be brave and make them proud.

Ase,
Ashaki