Seeking the Past & Looking Towards the Future

Greetings fam! Willing all is well with you all today on this beautiful Sunday. I spent my Saturday with my children. I took The Tribe (my affectionate nickname for my children) first to the Charlotte Museum of History. They were having a free event in which we able to tour the property of the first magistrate of Mecklenburg County. He was also a slave owner and the descendant of the household cook, spoke on her journey of discovering her ancestor.

As we made our way up to the house, I instantly felt the heaviness of the spirits on the grounds. The house was made of stone and we learned that the house was built by the slaves and that the actual stone had to be blasted from the ground and pieces laid to build the house. When we entered the house, the dank smell overtook us and I could “see” how this magistrate and his family lived. He owned many acres of land and the slave quarters have not yet been discovered, yet we know they existed. I could feel the remnants of times past, the extreme weight of oppression, and how many of us continue to carry those burdens from their ancestors.

I strive to show proof to my children of our illustrious past but also the ugliness of all that has been done to us. I need for them to know their history, the roots in which they sprang from, the journey we continue to travel.  Knowing the type of people that you come from is so important because how can you know where you going if you don’t know where you came from.

I began many years ago, researching, digging, and seeking my ancestors. I have found many different characters, discovered some hard truths, and found peace in my discoveries. Some of the history was painful, some triumphant, but all of it helped to create the person that I am today. I stand on the shoulders of those who passed before me. I weep for their struggle and I smile at their tenacity. May peace be upon their spirits.

Visiting historical sites has always been important to me. I enjoy digging into the past and seeing how far we have come but also realizing how much further we must go. May you seek the past with determination as well and find more of yourself.

 

Peace, Love, & Abundant Light,

Ashaki

 

Photo cred: Literary Hub

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Rest Well Grandma…

Peace, love, and light everyone. Yesterday marked the 17th anniversary of the day my grandmother was tragically killed. That day is still as vivid as it was then, though the emotions are not as raw. I miss her so very much. I think of her every single day and am so grateful to have had her as a grandmother.

I almost did not write today but I decided just a few minutes ago to share one of my favorite memories of her. When I was about three years old, she took me to a store with her. I saw a doll that I wanted but then I decided that I wanted ice cream. Grandma Lillie told me that I could only have one or the other , not both. “Be sure of what you really want, “ she said.

I chose the ice cream but after the cone was empty and I had devoured the tasty treat, I wanted the doll. I began to cry and stomp my little feet. My grandma was having none of it. She warmed up my posterior right in the middle of the street! I was so mad or so I remember. She took me home and I went to bed fuming.

Later that night, Grandma came to see me but I was asleep. When I woke up, the doll was in the bed next to me. That was classic Grandma Lillie. She would chastise you and then show you how unconditional her love truly was. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for you if she loved you. When my grandmother sang “My Girl” to me, she meant it. Her love has carried me through a lot of pain, despair, and hard times.

The kindness that she showed me and to so many others was a true testament to the beauty that humanity can be. I have spent most of my life trying to understand how a woman who had so little could continually give so much. I will forgive sing praises about the woman who held me when I had night terrors, fed me nourishing food when I was hungry, and encouraged me when I was struggling with life.

Rest well Grandma Lillie. I will never let your memory die.

 

Ashaki

Dealing With Our S$@t & Living Life Authentically

Greetings! I hope this message finds you well, whether you are at work or at home. I am taking today to do some cleaning in my home, working on my book, and working on client packages. Busy, busy, busy. I also plan to do a long lovely session of yoga and meditation. I must do my self-care routines in order to maintain my disposition. I find that when I skimp on my exercise and meditation, I can become crabby, irritable, and extremely tense. Each day that I peruse my emails, I am inundated with articles about self-care.

Sometimes I feel like I am a living, breathing cliché- doing yoga, trying to eat well, wearing headwraps, burning incense, wearing crystals, talking about black empowerment. But, then I grab ahold of my righteous mind and realize that I am living the most authentic life that I can at this space and time. I found peace in living the way that I do now and I cannot stop, nor do I want to. If I want to sit topless in the moonlight, sip herbal tea, and listen to ocean sounds, that is absolutely my business!

Am I a bit eccentric? Maybe. One thing that I know for sure is that I am a lot happier and definitely am more balanced since I found my groove. Some may think it weird that I would rather sit and read, listen to Coltrane or Gregory Isaacs, and sage my home than to go out partying every weekend, but hey, that’s me. I think that in pursuing the activities that feed my soul authentically I am living my best life. There was a time that I struggled with anxiety and depression. I refused to speak to anyone about my inner struggles though. I was screaming inside, burning up from unfulfilled hope. I was absolutely miserable. It literally has taken me the better of 10 years to find my happy place. These days, I find great joy in the simplest of things- my 6-year-old reading a book to me, my friend telling me about their weekend, making videos on my coaching page, sharing a laugh with one of my patients.

We live in a world where people want quick fixes to everything, where cell phones and social media have replaced genuine interaction, and many have chosen to live their lives vicariously through their favorite celebrity. Dealing with our shit is not easy but it is necessary if you actually are aspiring to live life as you. The more we dodge the skeletons in our closets, the more they will pile up and eventually spill out onto the proverbial hallway floor.

It is my hope that you find the things that make you feel more alive and do them with zeal. Life is worth living. Make sure you are living yours to the absolute fullest…..

 

Peace, Love, & Abundant Light,

Ashaki