I Give Up

So, it has been approximately 58 days since my last blog post. And I had every intention on writing this awesomely positive, inspirational, and heartwarming piece as I step back into the arena but, I think we would all be better served if I just allow my heart to pour out.

In the past few months, I have had multiple things happen that were not pleasant at all- from car issues, family loss, and other discomforts, let’s just say that I am happy that we are in a new season. But, I still am finding myself searching, struggling, and striving for the life that I truly want.

In the past few months, I have grown into gifts that I had kept mostly to myself. I began to strengthen my intuitive abilities, read Tarot cards, and attained Master level in my Reiki training. So, all has not been lost but, I still cannot help but to feel a type of way.

Most of us have had that feeling of utter defeat and discouragement when we feel we should be further along than we are. I have felt that way for most of my life. It is like my desires for fulfillment are just out of reach and no matter what I do, I won’t ever be able to touch it. But, my drive to succeed and live authentically causes me to never give up. I mean never…

So, although today I do not feel the most encouraged, though I do not see the fruits of the seeds I have been planting, though I feel like a failure, tomorrow I will muster the strength to try again. My spirit is composed mostly of determination and at times, utter stubbornness. Instead of throwing in the towel, I usually end up swinging it around my head like a helicopter (insert laughter here).

And I feel better already so, back to the drawing board to complete my master plan (insert evil genius laughter here). I think my best course of action is to just let go, release, and allow what is meant to happen to do so. The constant striving is exhausting…..

 

Peace,

Ashaki

Advertisements

Processing in the Bookstore

Peace everyone! I hope this post finds you well, whether you are at home, at work, abroad, or wherever. I am sitting in a Barnes & Nobles as I type this. I have three ladies to my left speaking rapidly in Spanish. My Spanish is by all accounts on a beginner’s level but they seem to be thoroughly enjoying their time together, the vibes I feel from them is loving, excited, and warm. To the front of me is a college student who appears to be overwhelmed by her load of work, surrounded by books, and at the same time having a conversation on her cell phone with a look of confusion resting on her brow.

However, I enjoy coming to the bookstore to work. Most people may find the bookstore distracting but, there are elements that assist my creative juices. First, I absolutely adore books. One of my dreams in my life is to have my own in-house library. I can never have enough of them. Secondly, there is a Starbucks in this store and the smell of coffee and sweets just boosts my mood. And lastly, watching the interactions going on in this place help me to feel even more connected to the world.

So, for those of you who have been following me for a while, you may have been wondering where I have been and what I have been up to. I am adjusting to a new normal and rebuilding, restructuring, restoring things that have been lost and delayed. I will not go into tremendous detail at this time, but just know that A LOT HAS CHANGED.

I have spoken about change before but, the hardships I have experienced, the intense feelings of regret and hopelessness, as well as the tremendous levels of loneliness and disappointment have caused me to shift in ways that I could never have imagined. Trying to live my life authentically, without feeling as supported, has been tough but, it has allowed me to expand and go deeper than I ever could have imagined. I am stronger for all that was lost, including people and things that I thought I could not live without.

It would be easy to allow bitterness to settle into my spirit, but could I take the stench of it once time has allowed it to fester? I don’t think so. No, there are always work arounds to discomfort. Sometimes you must go without. Sometimes you must be alone. Sometimes you must do it on your own. Whatever the “it” is.

Being confronted daily with the results of your decisions, good or bad, is not always pleasant. But, it is necessary. This time of being a freelancer at home has forced me to look deep within myself and see how increasingly wise I am as well as foolish at times. I am both the child and the old woman, the sage and the fool. There was a time when I would have beat myself up day and night for that realization but, now I see that this is still apart of my journey, a part of the pruning and process of evolution.

I sometimes sit and think on my life and see the patterns. I continue to experience certain things because I have refused to learn the lesson and apply the wisdom. I have learned this time. Now, it is time for new challenges. And I am here for it all. So, are you living a life being present in the moments and experiences or are you stuck in the cycle and do not see an “out”? Think about it.

 

See You Soon,

Ashaki

7 Ways to Rock Your Morning

Greetings, greetings, greetings! I do hope you are doing well today. How often have you woke up in the morning feeling blah? I believe at least 99.99% of people have. And in those moments that you have felt the “blah”, how often has that permeated and followed you throughout the rest of your day?

What if I told you that there is a way to take your mornings from “blah” to “awesome”? I am going to let you in on my transformative morning routine. Having an awesome morning ritual can help you become more productive, peaceful, and joyful.

  1. Begin your day with gratitude. You can state something as simple as “I am grateful for a new day and all that this day has to offer”. By expressing gratitude, you invite more things into your life to be grateful for.
  2. Drink water. Your body is composed of approximately 60% of water. Drinking water first thing in the morning has multiple benefits including, but not limited to flushing your body of toxins, increasing production of new blood cells, increasing mental acuity, and boosting your metabolism.
  3. Meditate- I am a staunch advocate of daily meditation. The benefits are too long to list but personally, meditation has helped alleviate anxiety, gain clarity, and grow spiritually. If you have never tried to meditate, begin with 2-5 minutes and remember, the goal is not to clear the mind, but to quiet the mind.
  4. Move your body! For several years, I have made a practice of either doing yoga, running, or doing cardio, or all of the above. I know you are thinking, here we go again with the daily exercise. But, the benefits speak for themselves! Regular exercise not only strengthens your body but also your mind and spirit. So, make time, even if only for 15 minutes to be present in your body. You will definitely feel and know the difference.
  5. Connect with your loved ones. I always make time for my family every morning. I want to know how they slept, what their plans are for the day, and most of all, that I love them. Family is important, in whichever way you choose to define it.
  6. Connect with nature. Before I leave home, I spend time outside on my balcony, breathing, listening to the birds, and watching the squirrels. Being in tune with nature has brought a profound sense of peace to my life.
  7. Take time to yourself. I am a mother of 6 children. Being a mother means a lot but having such responsibility is taxing also. By getting up earlier, I am able to just be. I can enjoy a cup of coffee in solitude, journal, just honestly love on myself. This practice is the most important because if we are not loving and creating space for ourselves, we tend to become resentful and burnout. So, rise a little earlier and relish in your “me” time.

 

I would love to hear from you about your daily morning routine. If you are interested in connecting with me, follow me on IG @simply_ashaki, FB @DivineSoul, or join my email list on my website, www.ashakiali.com. I provide intuitive counseling, spiritual growth workshops, and more.

Peace,

Ashaki

 

 

Morning Coffee

Photo Cred: “https://www.flickr.com/photos/donotlick/7390751418/in/photolist-cg6wUA-26doaWs-9F5Cio-5nHJaG-nUDD7j-DySNCQ-98sJ7k-bQ3ZED-dz9Ba5-J3ShmG-bT4YQ8-oqPYHC-4qGudU-7MZ8J-9WV1Ff-76gxDL-aZMhoi-9zeT6x-5xZwJ4-7FbAY2-qoW7Ci-6WzWur-6ejzwY-9GgtfM-6U3dHF-oBn66L-24RbR-q9pY4L-5j8nN7-31dxn3-BGHJ6z-2KsNL6-6Xvtov-8mZBJL-74u9W6-4DdBYJ-4vcSsm-aTh5BZ-8oqH66-z6gMT-4w8gMY-oEzBXE-pZaLf-4isjoS-5gdntY-km8L3D-28774bn-4V4F3u-dvx2j-HrFaDH” by Jennifer Morrow via Flickr

Manifestation On My Mind

Greetings everyone! I hope this post finds you well as always. I woke this morning feeling inspired to share. I have been doing intense study on spiritual practices, being more impactful, and more. I have always enjoyed learning and doing new things but now I am focused on improving the knowledge and information that I currently have for the betterment of my world and community.

I struggle with self-doubt and must constantly work to maintain confidence that the actions I am taking are in line with my life path and purpose. I saw the fruits of my work yesterday. I had a serious financial matter and needed an additional $300 to meet my responsibility. I had already asked a ton of people and even tried to get a loan. I had literally done everything but steal. I was struggling with feeling totally desperate and helpless. But, deep in my core, I felt peaceful and unshakeable, even with the surmounting fear I felt in my belly.

I had been receiving messages from the universe in the form of master numbers appearing everywhere-from receipts at the stores, to the clocks, even in my dreams. I know and understand that nothing is by coincidence and that these numbers were signaling that all would be well. Yet, my lizard brain kept chattering, “What are you going to do?”, “You’re not going to get that money”, and so on.

Well, I found 3 $5 bills in a pair of pants that I had only worn once in a year, then I found 2 more in my purse out of nowhere. In my heart, I knew that this money was a sign of more to come, even though it was a small amount. I went and purchased a lottery ticket. I doubled my $5 investment in the ticket so I bought another. I didn’t win anything but I again saw a master number-33.

I went into my bedroom and sat on the bed, still fighting the feeling of hopelessness. I heard something say, “Go check the mailbox”. At first my logical mind told me that the mail hadn’t run yet but again I heard, “Go check the mailbox”. So, I went and there was a check waiting for me in the total of $474!!

The check came from a company benefit that I no longer worked for. I thought maybe that had made a mistake but when the check cashing associate called to verify, the representative stated that the check was for “additional benefits”!

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I manifested that money. The question then became “How did you do that? I began to recall all that I had been doing over the past month of freelancing from home and there are a few things that I have been doing consistently.

  1. Dreamscaping- I basically dream in a more lucid state, creating my environment, and experiencing the emotions attached to what I dream. I ask myself questions such as “how does it feel to have an abundance of money?” and so on. I set my mind in this matter right before I drift off to deep sleep.
  2. Meditating- I have been meditating for years but have only truly gotten serious about it over the past few years. It is a daily practice. Meditation has provided me with so much more calmness and clarity. I could go on but it is an integral part of my spiritual development.
  3. Visualization- Visualization is much like dreamscaping except I am awake, but I am intentionally “seeing” my life as I would like to have it at this moment.
  4. Mantras- I read and repeat several mantras during the day such as “ I am a money magnet” and “Money flows to me with ease”.
  5. High vibrational frequency- The most important aspect of my days are maintaining a high vibrational frequency. I have realized that I create more discourse in my life if I am depressed, angry, or any lower vibration emotion. I have realized that balance is so key. The 5 principles of Reiki have assisted me in recognizing my own out of control emotions. I repeat them twice daily and it has helped me tremendously.

I hope this has helped someone. There is an increasing shift among the world to seeking more esoteric and metaphysical knowledge. The universe is abundant and there is more than enough for each of us to live life on our own terms.

If you are interested in working or connecting with me, visit my website, www.ashakiali.com . You can also find me on IG @simply_ashaki and FB on Divine Soul (my company page). Have an awesome day!

 

Peace,

Ashaki

Remembering Tupac

Greetings fam! Hope all is well with everyone on this Saturday evening. Today is the day that the majority of hip hop fans spend celebrating the birth of Tupac Shakur. If he had lived, he would be 47 years old, which seems crazy to me.  Maybe it is because I was so young when he was alive. Or because we have been nearly suffocated with tons of t-shirts, mugs, memes, artwork, multiple album releases, and so much more.

I was sitting in my house thinking back on my first encounter with his music. I first saw him with Digital Underground (Yes, I used to do the “Humpty Dance”). But, when he emerged as an artist and I saw the video for “Brenda’s Got a Baby”, I became somewhat enthralled with him.

The message and images in the video were things that I knew all too well myself. I had a close friend who had been molested by her own father for years, young girls being pregnant was commonplace, drugs were prevalent, and social workers decorated many a doorstep. But, the way that he weaved the story was special and I had found a new rapper to follow and music to consume.

Tupac spoke on topics that had not been displayed so openly which appealed to me greatly. I seemed to always be on the lookout for music that spoke to my own tortured soul. “Keep Your Head Up” gave us hope, encouraged us, and solidified the fact that he loved us. I followed him closely, listening to “If My Homie Calls”, “I Get Around”, and more but, then he began to change a bit and I began to fall back.

That thug shit was a theme that although very familiar, was absolutely exhausting. His roughness bristled my nerves and I found myself tuning out when his music was played. But, as soon as I was going to throw him away, he dropped his “Me Against the World” album, and I was rocking with him again. The album displayed his feelings towards his mother, the revolutionary Afeni Shakur, displayed his sexuality on “Temptations” and highlighted vulnerability on “So Many Tears”. I was impressed and once again captured.

I remember when he died very vividly. I was almost 16 years old, living in a place that I didn’t want to be, selling dime bags of weed, struggling to adjust once again. I was sitting on the stoop in my projects when news broke across the radio airwaves. One of my homeboys stopped by as they began to play Tupac’s music. Tears ran down our faces but neither of us spoke. He was gone just as so many young black men had. Our spirits sagged.

I often sit and listen to Pac and reflect on the state of hip hop today. Lyricism is not as highlighted as in decades before and at one point, I honestly felt like throwing the whole culture away. Then, I recall some old heads talking about Tupac in similar ways that some speak on artists today.

He was a thug and a revolutionary talking about gangs, pussy, struggle, drugs, and more. They didn’t know what to do with him.  There is a difference between him and some of these untalented, new school rappers– he had a message. He was like a hood prophet, politicking on the state of affairs. So, I hang in there, as an unofficial hip hop ambassador. I feel a sense of responsibility to preserve a culture that rocked me, nourished me, fed me, and kept me in some of the most difficult times of my life.I have said before that hip hop saved my life and that is not an understatement. Tupac is another artist that played a part in my evolution.

It seems redundant to say that Tupac’s memory will never die, but it is so true. He will forever be remembered for his substantial contribution to the culture, for his influence on so many people, for the indelible mark he made upon this earth. Peace to his spirit.

 

Rest on Tupac,

Ashaki Omikunle Ali

 

Photo Cred: https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/tupac-shakur

The Elephant in the Room

Greetings family,

In light of all of the recent stories of suicides, I felt compelled to speak on the topic. I have heard people say some very judgmental and very hurtful things. So, here I sit this Friday afternoon, thinking and writing about the times when I contemplated and even attempted to commit suicide.

I liken my past experience with suicidal thoughts as being in a dark pit, feeling myself sinking but not having the strength or willpower to fight against drowning. At the times I have been in those positions, people in my life thought I had it all together. I was a nurse, raising a young family, volunteering in my community, and contributing to the world at large. They really knew my life was great. Sadly, it was not. 

However, no one could see inside my mind and heart. I was struggling- struggling with strained familial relationships, struggling with traumas from my past, struggling with financial issues, just struggling. I felt as if I would be worth more if I were dead. It was awful. I felt like I was lugging around sacks of despair. I had become a “bag lady” as Erykah Badu sang about so beautifully.

As I sit here and think back carefully, I realize that I have been fighting feelings of depression, inferiority, and regret for most of my life. Nevertheless, I fought past those feelings and chose to continue to live. 

But, so many people give up the fight. They become weary and the overwhelming feeling of wanting the pain to go away causes them to end their life. A lot of people feel that suicide is a cop out but in my life, suicide seemed to be an option to put an end to the incessant misery. 

I believe we all owe a debt to our society to at least check up on people. The disconnection between people is wide and intimacy is has been flung out the window. We live in a world of feigned connection. Social media has taken away true socializing, and likes, shares, and commenting have taken away conversation. We have to do better. People are hurting, struggling, and considering ending it all. Let’s help them. Check on your people. Consider it because one day, it could be you.

 

Ashaki

 

Opening My Eyes During the Journey

Greetings. It is almost 10 pm in my city, partly cloudy, slightly humid with a cool breeze blowing. I have had an epiphany of sorts and I simply could not rest without speaking on it (or writing about it). I did not feel as though my family would not truly understand what I am talking about and probably couldn’t relate so here I am.

I have been studying quantum physics, brain mechanics, manifestation, and more for several years. I know that I have manifested some things but, I have always experienced a struggle in my relationship and attitude towards money. I recently purchased a MP3 recording that works on your subconscious mind. During the first session, I truly understand why manifesting money has been so difficult for me.

In my heart of hearts and ingrained in my subconscious mind lays the deep seeded belief that I am not good enough to have a lot of money, that I can never have attain what I desire, that it is not my destiny to experience wealth. Wow, typing that was hard and coming into that realization was eye opening.

Our lives can mark our subconscious with false beliefs that can hold perpetually hold us back. I grew up in poverty, so I know that life. But what would life be like if I was financially free? Can I even produce a visualization of what that looks like?

Now that I know. What next? Well, I tell you what. I am going to do some real work on reprogramming of the tape that is playing in the background. I am excited for the journey and all of the spiritual progress. It is a daily choice and my journey is just beginning. I am grateful for discovery and also knowing that without struggle, there will be no progress.

 

Good Night World,

Ashaki

Freedom is Frightening….

Greetings! I hope all is well in your “youniverse”. I am well now but today has admittedly been trying. I have been struggling to silence the negative lizard brain all freaking day! Why? Because I honestly am afraid of the changes that I know are coming. I decided last week to resign from my full- time job. I was not happy, and I am old enough to know when I must make a change.  I have been putting it off for a while, but the time had come for me to part and pursue other things.

Now, I know and overstand that my fears are not real. I am super talented, well learned, professional with a ton of options to make a living. My fears are founded in the fact that for my entire life, money has been scarce and struggle a constant. I was born into a very poor family and their relationship with money has always been a negative one; an unhealthy dance of paying bills late, scraping by, and never making a good living. Overcoming lifelong influences are super hard so today I was faced with those issues again.

I have meditated several times today, distracted myself with other things, performed self- talk, even saged myself. The voice finally stfu a few hours ago. But, I am left with the residuals, an anxiety that again is not substantiated by my circumstances presently. So, I find myself at my laptop, writing about my issue in hopes that my transparency helps someone else not feel like they are failing out here.

I am the first to admit that I also struggle with not feeling depressed about the accomplishments that I have yet to bring forth. And now that I have chosen to walk away from a full-time position with benefits, I feel crazy as hell. However, I am also at a time in my life that I know I cannot do anything that my spirit is not resonating with- no matter the benefits. I must pursue the things that I love full force going forward- no matter the level of discomfort that I feel at the unknown.

As brilliant as I am (insert sarcastic giggle here), I am unsure as to where my journey is leading me. I have applied a few places, but I am not entirely bought into the notion that I must work one full time job to maintain my lifestyle. I am certain that I will be working with multiple streams of income, performing various tasks and jobs to make my money. Freedom is so appealing. I have no idea what freedom looks like, but I think it is high time that I find out.

 

Peace,

Ashaki Omikunle Ali

 

Photo Cred: https://www.shutterstock.com/search/worried+business+woman?page=3&searchterm=worried%20business%20woman&safe=true&search_source=base_related_searches&language=en

Racing Ahead

Greetings fam! I hope all is well. Today, my youngest daughter and I created a beautiful memory together. We ran a 5K together! Now to bring this into perspective, my daughter is 10 years old and I have not run an entire 5K in 5 years. But nevertheless, we did it and I am filled to the brim with joy. As I sit here tonight, I have a few thoughts that I want to share (of course!)

  1. Mind over matter really works (sometimes)- My daughter has trained for 2 months for this 5K. I kept telling myself that I would train. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am pretty active. I do go to the gym as often as possible and I am a yogi. I also eat pretty healthily. However, I never trained. I knew that I would push myself to be in place for my daughter and that is just what the hell I did!
  2. Our children are truly watching, and they do want our support and approval. My daughter is very headstrong and opinionated (not unlike her mother). I never have considered that she was modeling my behaviors until today. I have always loved to run and be active. Watching her run by my side, in step, and with a look of sheer determination was heartwarming. Once we crossed the finish line, I felt how much she needed my encouragement and how much she appreciated my presence.
  3. Lastly, I got to see #blackgirlmagick in action. The young queens represented themselves so well. They were all so positive, so lovely, so determined. It was inspiring to be a part of the conglomerate. I have a desire to begin to work more with our girls. Today, the fire was stoked!

 

 

Peace,

Ashaki

37 Here I Come

Greetings! It is the eve of my 37th Solar return and I am feeling grateful for life, my family, my love, my growth, and so much more! The past few weeks have been super challenging and at times, downright depressing. I have had so much going on and not all positive- from my grandfather going missing, to someone stealing my identity on IG and attempting to scam my friends and followers under the guise of being “Coach Ali”, to a false social services report, and on and on.

But, through all of that, I still feel grateful. I am not over here falling apart, I am not losing sleep, I am not skipping meals. I am simply doing and being me. I have taken a hiatus from social media. Initially I thought that I would lose followers, momentum, etc. but I realize that the big picture is that whatever the universe has for me, all of the awesome things that could happen, will in due time. I have to focus on strengthening my spirit, enriching my soul, and truly focusing on my goals-with minimal distractions.

The book that I have been speaking about over the past few months is nearing completion! I am editing it and adding a bonus chapter. I have been making strides in my Afrikan products business and have also added a separate jewelry line that is doing well. I am going to reestablish my coaching business and hone in on a specific niche. And lastly, my personal life is going well- I am secure, I am at peace, and I feel loved. I have so much to be excited about and grateful for- I could go on and on but I won’t.

37 years young…..Damn time is flying. I don’t feel a day over 24. I have endured but I have just begun to live. My life today is a testament to the strength of the human spirit to endure seriously painful and trying times. May the rest of my days be a testament to the joy of life and the richness that can be experienced when one makes the decision to do so.

 

Peace & Innumerable Blessings,

Ashaki Ali

 

““I am evolving and it’s so damn beautiful.” Anonymous