I Give Up

So, it has been approximately 58 days since my last blog post. And I had every intention on writing this awesomely positive, inspirational, and heartwarming piece as I step back into the arena but, I think we would all be better served if I just allow my heart to pour out.

In the past few months, I have had multiple things happen that were not pleasant at all- from car issues, family loss, and other discomforts, let’s just say that I am happy that we are in a new season. But, I still am finding myself searching, struggling, and striving for the life that I truly want.

In the past few months, I have grown into gifts that I had kept mostly to myself. I began to strengthen my intuitive abilities, read Tarot cards, and attained Master level in my Reiki training. So, all has not been lost but, I still cannot help but to feel a type of way.

Most of us have had that feeling of utter defeat and discouragement when we feel we should be further along than we are. I have felt that way for most of my life. It is like my desires for fulfillment are just out of reach and no matter what I do, I won’t ever be able to touch it. But, my drive to succeed and live authentically causes me to never give up. I mean never…

So, although today I do not feel the most encouraged, though I do not see the fruits of the seeds I have been planting, though I feel like a failure, tomorrow I will muster the strength to try again. My spirit is composed mostly of determination and at times, utter stubbornness. Instead of throwing in the towel, I usually end up swinging it around my head like a helicopter (insert laughter here).

And I feel better already so, back to the drawing board to complete my master plan (insert evil genius laughter here). I think my best course of action is to just let go, release, and allow what is meant to happen to do so. The constant striving is exhausting…..

 

Peace,

Ashaki

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