Today I made a decision. I am taking a break from social media and from my side business. I feel that my life has taken on a life of its own, one that I don’t even recognize. I feel as though I am constantly trying to keep up with my peers, attain some level, master some information.

I don’t even know when this began. I have made some beautiful connections over the past few years but, I honestly feel overlooked–a lot. So, I made the decision to step off. I need to regroup, restore what has been lost in the shuffle, and so I am reclaiming my time (thanks Auntie Maxine Waters for coining that phrase!).

I have even lost sight of what I truly want at my core. I know I want to be financially free, own some land and a home, at some point be in a loving and fulfilling relationship, travel, and be able to create as I see fit. Somewhere along the way, I lost my way. And I know that I should allow myself some grace. 2020 has been hell on nearly everyone. But, I want more than I currently have, I want to be better.

So, I posted my closed sign on my social media, I closed my calendar for my business, and I am crafting a new calendar for my daily activities and goals. I have things to do, but most of all, I need to nurture myself, decide what is next, and move forward stronger, more joyful, and more peaceful.

I honestly feel a bit guilty (which indicates how detached I am from taking care of myself). I preach self-care and yet, I struggle with truly taking care of myself. I have been sick for the last few weeks, not sleeping the best, eating sporadically. This ends today. I declare that I will do my best by me from this day forward.

I realize that the reason some of my dreams are not coming to fruition is because I am not keeping my word to myself. I deserve better than I have been giving myself. No more betraying myself, punishing myself, not doing what I know is best for me. I am unplugging and doing a hard reset!

Cheers to what is to come!

Ashaki